Contemplating Life

Right now I am in a mood where things can go either way. In my mind I try to remain positive about the things going on in my life, but...

My relationship with my husband is wonderful, no problems there. My health is just okay, nothing special, and I believe that will change when Spring finally gets it's ass in gear. It's coming and I for one cannot wait. Bring on the beautiful walking, weight loss weather because I can use it. I love baking but can't really eat the goodies I make because they will in turn make me fat. I cannot find a job to save my life, so I'm home all day feeling sorry for myself. Sure I get time to write but I rarely take advantage of that time because I'm too busy playing on Facebook and other various applications.

Oh life, where are you. I always dreamed of a life with so much going on. I have only a few friends, but that is okay because I prefer quality over quantity. I want to write and even though I enjoy writing, I would like to be appreciated for my writing. And by appreciated I mean I want to be paid for writing. Which means I want to be a successfully published writer.

Well other than that there is another thing bothering me. As a family we need more money. We are struggling now to make it. We have a lovely home, a car and each other but we have no room to maneuver into something special. We want to go home to Arizona, and that requires money... Will we make it? I don't know and as positive as I am, it's hard to believe right now. In my heart I will keep this dream alive even though my head doesn't agree. But as of now something serious has to go down in the next few months for this dream to come true. We will see... (fingers crossed).

Well I guess I'm done venting for now.... Till the next time...

Getting Started

I'm a Taurus, the bull -- as in bullheaded -- and I've always had a hard time getting started. I have a million plans for my life, career and health but getting started is the hard part. Anyone else have these types of issues? Once I get started though? Oh yeah baby I get started and I always finish. I could use a few suggestions on how to get started.

My point?

Well I plan on losing a lot of weight, once I get started my hard work will pay off, I know this but I have to get away from the excuses. Is it just me?

I haven't finished Cutthroat, which I had planned to finish by the end of November -- that is last year! Yet I'm still stuck. I have many other story ideas that I would like to get through to but again getting started is very hard because I don't like to start something when I am not finished with other things.

Well I just wanted to vent for now, I got started and I didn't shut up until I was finished, now what to start on now? The rest of my life...

Happy New Year!!

It's now 2011 and that begs the question what did you do in 2010 that you can be proud of? Did you accomplish the goals you set out this time last year? I myself did not complete everything on my list but I did check off some of the stuff. Mostly writing stuff but still is that ever enough.

This years list isn't that long but it is quite important. Why? Because accomplishing goals is always important, this year among many is of course Arizona, one of the big question marks from last year.

Secondly lose weight, I've been putting on weight far too long, and it's time to get it in check. If I can quit smoking, I can definitely lose some pounds. To quit smoking has been the hardest thing I've ever done besides healing from a traumatic event in my past.

Third, which is another thing that has been on my list for many years is to break into and rock out the literary world. I work hard, and continue to improve at my craft, why shouldn't I have the opportunity to feel how the other half does?

This is my year which is what I said last year but like last year I really mean it this time. Oh and by the way Mercury is coming out of retrograde I believe which means this will improve! *Fingers Crossed*

Over over over!!! Yes it's over!

I feel huge relief! No I didn't just use the bathroom, I am relieved that the holidays are over!!! I love this time of year and all the magic that happens, - except for family- but I can't be happier that it is over. The next week we are going to spend getting our home back in order since my husband always goes over board with the decorations and gifts. On a great note however; I got my E-Reader, and I'm super excited even though I'm thoroughly exhausted from the festivities. Anyone else happy it's over?

Here's to a new year coming...

Smoking -- Yuck?

Boy oh boy it has definitely been a while since I flicked a lighter and brought the flame to the tip of a stick of hazardous yet delicious nicotine. Truth be told it hasn't been that hard. The first week was the worst, the first month I wanted to kill a few people (actually I don't think that has to do with the lack of nicotine in my body, I just really wanted to kill people, ha!) Now I'm coming up on my 7 month smoke free and I actually really feel good about it. I still crave them, especially after a really good meal or when I first get into the car to leave the house but it gets better throughout the day.

So being smoke free is a good thing? I guess I would have to say yes, but I won't admit it out-loud. Till next time... Keep your smoke to yourself.

I Am A Writer?

I am a writer, words defining my life
A page at length, each word significant
I am a writer, some have told me so
Hard to believe though.. Am I?
A story that pours from my life
Blood running rapid and wild
Muscles constricting around a pencil
Eyes, watery staring at lead bleeding pages
Emotions permeating intensely
Dreams raging, but laying dormant
I am a writer, sources combining me
Dictionaries re-defining me
Thesauruses symbolizing me
I am a writer, complex yet simple
Complex in everything I want
Yet simple in what it is that I have
Understanding, yet contemplating
Understanding of human nature
Contemplating a future of success
Cherishing each word and symbol
Periods ending thoughts
Colons breaking lines in two
Symbolic of tattered hearts
I am a writer, consumed but fierce
Consumed by the want, fierce in ambition
Unsure, terror filled, but I am a writer.

Now that we are approaching the end of 2010, it will soon be time for our resolutions (or now time for pre-resolutions, as the case may be).

And as you cast your eye toward self-improvement, might I suggest one of the important fundamentals to the healthy and productive writer: exercise.

Not only because writing is a solitary pursuit, that writers sometime need the occasional mood-lift while pondering the depths of the human condition, and because we want to keep writing as long as Louis Auchincloss.

No. Not just those reasons.

Do it for the creativity boost!

I can't quantify this. I don't know if it's been proven by science (Livia?). I don't know if it's the endorphins talking. All I know is that when I'm stuck on a plot challenge or can't think of where things go next, I exercise. And it's amazing how it unlocks the brain.

And even from a macro sense, I find myself more productive and happier during weeks where I exercise. The ideas and words just tend to flow better.

Am I alone on this? Does exercise help your creativity?

I think Nathan Bransford (giving credit where credit is due!) has the right idea. Like any craft we need to exercise to keep our brains well lubricated! What are some of your exercises as a writer?